10 Things To Know About Superheroes (According to Jake)

Written by Andrea

You may or may not know that my son, Jake, is obsessed about one thing in life. He does not care about dinosaurs. He does not care about trucks. He does not care about cars or planes. He does not care about Diego or Yo Gabba Gabba or Mario or Luigi.

He cares about one thing.

Superheroes.

Once upon a time, I worried that he was overly-obsessed. It concerned me that every successful conversation my son had with anyone related to superheroes. My mother would ask him about his day and his response would be some garbled concoction of words including my all-time favorites, “Dr. Octavious, the Green Goblin, or Spiderman.” It concerned me so much that I took him to the doctor, asked her what she thought, and proceeded to have him evaluated for speech therapy. I was terrified that they would tell me that his inability to focus on anything other than superheroes was unhealthy and that I should have him evaluated for other disorders, including (but not limited to, I assure you) autism, obsessive compulsive disorder, or attention deficit disorder.

Fortunately, while I still believe he probably shows distinct signs of OCD (as does his mother, father, and sister), he is developing just fine. His speech and vocabulary are maturing (maybe a little slower than normal, but not enough for therapy) and developing enough for him to continue having conversations. And, yes, they are still about superheroes. I don’t worry so much about this topic any more. I have learned that he can talk to me about other things and he can understand plenty of other concepts and everything does not HAVE to be about superheroes. However, Jake would love it if everyone else’s world revolved around superheroes like his does.

With that, I give you my tribute to my son in honor of his fourth birthday this weekend and all that he has taught me in his four short years on this Earth. If you want to have a conversation with Jake, in which you actually get to see him in full action, you MUST read these ten things:

10 Things that everyone should know about superheroes (according to Jake)

  1. Batman is awesome and probably the coolest of all superheroes (and despite my brother’s argument that he doesn’t have superpowers, Jake says he DOES). Bruce Wayne is “Master Bruce” and is also the smartest guy Jake has ever seen. No matter what year the movie was, no matter who the actor was, and no matter who the woman is that he is, ummm, enjoying his time with. Jake’s favorite is probably Dark Knight with Christian Bale as Batman. Everyone in our family, except Bailey, would agree with that. However, don’t discount the classics. Jake’s second favorite would probably be the original Batman with Adam West and all the BAM and SPLAT and POW starbursts you can read. There’s a shark in that one… and Jake relives it when he pretends to be Batman. He loves to ask me for the shark spray.  It’s a must see… if you have Netflix, I’d highly recommend it. We crack up every time we watch it. And, yes, we do realize how violent Dark Knight is and that it was not intended for a child to see, but our child is a pretty mature and awesome little boy who understands that this is not reality, but fantasy… mainly because we have taken the time to explain it to him.:)
  2. Mary Jane is the most beautiful of all damsels in distress. No matter what superhero toy you are in Jake’s room, you will fall for Mary Jane. I promise. This is our Mary Jane at home. Thank God that Jake has a sister. I’m not sure how he would be able to survive without this particular Barbie doll. However, if you want to see him in real action, try to match up Mary Jane with Batman or the Incredible Hulk. That does not fly… the Barbie dolls must reflect the actual appearance of their television counterparts. Please make sure to get this right when making your Barbie selections for your superhero men.  
  3. Dr. Octavius is an incredible villain… Sandman can be sneaky… Venom is just annoying… and the Joker can be funny and scary at the same time. But, the worst villain of all is Danny Devito as the Penguin. His teeth are enough to make any little boy shudder. However, it does wonders for you moms looking for a way to get your son to brush better.:)
  4. The Incredible Hulk is good. He smashes everything and terrifies everyone, but he is good. Somehow this is really tough for Jake to understand. How can someone who turns completely green and huge be good, especially when the Green Goblin is bad? How is green good again? He’s slowly getting that one.
  5. Iron Man is tough… maybe the toughest one. Perhaps that’s why he is called Iron Man.
  6. Superman is moving on up in the world… or at least in Jake’s world. Batman has been the favorite for quite some time, but Superman is making a chase for first place. Why? Well, as I mentioned before, my brother likes to tell Jake that Batman doesn’t have any real super powers. Superman, on the other hand, does. And, well, Jake has seen just about every Batman movie and cartoon known to man… but Superman is kind of new to him. 
  7. Flash is the only superhero that likes sports. Much to this mother’s dismay, as I tried to explain to Jake that practicing fielding in t-ball is just as important as running the bases or hitting the ball, he looked at my skeptically. I reminded him that superheroes love sports and that Superman would be out there showing all the other kids how to catch and throw. This is what Jake said, “Superheroes don’t love sports, mom. Just one superhero does… the Flash.” He proceeded to demonstrate his fast running skills by running in place. I said, “Well, Flash would be out there catching all the balls.” Without another word, he put his glove on and went on the field. If only I had known it was that simple.
  8. Every superhero has a bad side. See Spiderman in Spiderman 3. It’s important to use your powers for good. See – even violent movies teach some morals.:)
  9. Superman and Batman love salad and milk. Jake is not a fan, but when we remind him that if he wants to grow up to be a superhero and have big muscles (like his dad and Superman – hehe), he has to eat his salad and drink his milk. I had tried this bribery a few months ago and it didn’t work. However, it works now. Jake will eat a salad (smothered in Ranch) at almost any meal. He is still not a huge fan of milk, but we are working on it.
  10. And the one thing that you must always remember about superheroes… they always get the girl. Who said that all boys’ shows are about building things and doing jobs and all girls’ movies are about romance? Well, I have news for you. If watching romantic stories about Cinderella and Belle and Ariel are going to make little girls want to grow up and get married, then superhero movies are going to make little boys want to protect the woman they love and fight for the woman they want. Jake is totally going to be the most romantic man in the world, if that’s the case. Maybe it’s not that bad of a thing. What girl wouldn’t be crazy about this superhero?:) 
Shauna - April 12, 2011 - 11:09 am

At least your kid is obsessed with something other than bodily functions like my boy :) He does love baseball though so I do have hope! Does Jake play on a team?

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